I saw this the other day and had to share it with you all as it was so funny
Grandparents telephone calls


Good Morningat present we are not at home, but please leave your message when you hear the beeeeep.

If you are one of our children dial 1, and then select the option from 1 – 5 in order of “ arrival” , so we know who it is

If you need us to stay with the children press, 2

If you want to borrow the car press, 3

If you want us to do your wash your clothes, and do your, ironing press.  4

If you want the children to stay here tonight press.  5

If you want us to pick the kids up from school press, 6

If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to your home press, 7

If you want to come here to eat press, 8

If you need money press, 9

If you are inviting us to dinner, or taking us to the theatre, start talking and we are listening!!  




Taken from papers written by a class of 8 year olds

Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own. They like other people’s children

A grandfather is a man and a Grandmother is a lady

Grandparents don’t have to do anything except be there when we come to see them…

They are so old they shouldn’t play hard or run. It is good if they can drive us to the shops and give us money

When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars

  They show us and talk about the colours of the flowers and also they shouldn’t step on “cracks”

They don’t say hurry up

Usually Grandmothers are fat, but not too fat to tie your shoes

They wear glasses and funny underwear

They can take their teeth and gums out

Grandparents don’t have to be smart

Needless to say that my parents both had false teeth, and they were both left on the bathroom window sill, in two glasses. These frightened the life out of our children when they first saw them, and they could not believe that a person could take their teeth out on a night.


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