Lovely holiday in Scotland

Just before the lockdown, we had a lovely holiday in Scotland, in the Trossachs area, which was somewhere we went for honeymoon back in 1972.

I have no idea where we had stayed back then, but it was bed, breakfast and evening meal in a farmhouse, somewhere area the Stirling holiday

We always said that we would love to go back again, as its where our married life started off, but I guess I was worried because the virus was starting to get a grip of the UK

This time instead of the Ford Cortina car it was a tour coach, which was more relaxing, and the weather was lovely.

This time we stayed in Aberfoyle at the Rob Roy Hotel and had an amazing time with some lovely people, who were lively at times.

We went for a day trip to Sterling Castle, somewhere we visited on our honeymoon, although last time we were there we followed a snowplow, which was interesting, as I had been working in Scotland at the time, I was used to driving in the snow

I found the Castle to be stunning, and although I did not go-round with the guide like my wife, I wandered around myself and enjoyed myself


This time we went to visit the Kelpies, something that Janice was desperate to see, however, it was closed at the time, but we got a close up of them.

However, they can be seen from some distance away, including the motorway

After this, we moved on to the Falkirk wheel which was fascinating to see, both from the land and onboard a visitor boat.

Taking things for granted

As  this virus progresses we start to miss many things, we took as normal, but in many ways it could be said that we took it all for granted.

Going out for exercise and enjoying meeting people while we were out. 

Seeing the family, and having cuddles with the grandchildren, and it's getting harder. 

We saw my son and his family last weekend, but they were outside the garden,and that was so hard for us both seeing them go and not having a hug, cuddle kiss. 

Going shopping, in newcastle, and having a coffee and scone in John Lewis  or Mark's and Spensors. Or going to Costa for a coffee.

Missing to our Static caravan in Barnard Castle, our second home, where I feel so relaxed, and the air is so much cleaner. So clean that once we have unpacked, I usually go straight to sleep no matter what time of day it is.

Going for a haircut on a regular basis, something I like to do, as my hair has a mind of it's own.

I was missing having a haircut, as i looked , like a shaggy dog. But my Son Mark came to my rescue and cut my hair. For an Electrical Engineer he did an amazing job,and my wife says it looks better than it does after I have been to a professional barber. 

Janice said he looked terrified when he was cutting my hair, but he did it and I was proud of him for helping. 

We all take things for granted. 

keeping active during the lock down

Trying to remain active during the lockdown can be very hard through all of the restrictions, but I guess the physio session from the Respiratory Rehabilitation service over Christmas was very helpful

While this was going on, I was walking to and from the local hospital which helped quite a lot, but now the walking has been restricted, it is becoming difficult. 

Because I am not walking as far, I am starting to drag my right leg and foot but i guess this is  down to the weakness on the right side of my body 

We don't have a big garden, so I can't walk around that, and walking around our houses, is a risk because people are parking their cars on the estate, so they don't pay parking charges, but life goes on, and we have to fight it.

I have some small weights at home for exercises, which I use, daily to strengthen my muscles,  help with my breathing, and also have an exercise bike, but I am finding that my left leg is doing the hard work. 

No one seems to know what happened, as I was always right-handed, but now the  left side of my body is much stronger than the right,  and this causes problems, and also causes coordination problems these days 

During one scan, there was evidence of a TIA but did not know anything about it, so perhaps this was the cause of the weakness on one side etc.

Some time ago I tried swimming but found that due to coordination problems, I was swallowing water every time I moved my arms, so I would be better off as a submarine. 

Keeping active has to be a good thing all around, but each day is different, so it's  a case of taking each day as it comes 

mixed messages during lockdown

After a long absence, my wife suggested I tried to write my blog again, in the hope of getting me going again during this lock down.

I am using speech notes again to get going again. 

I confess that  I am struggling more and more, to cope with this lockdown these days and a lot of this is all down the mixed messages from the hospitals etc, all of which tell me to do different things, and this can be difficult to take on board at times. 

That's without the Governments mixed messages, some of which make no sense at all these days.

We tried to get a delivery from supermarkets, but we had problems because some will only deliver what they want, rather than what is needed. 

Due to diverticulitis,   I am struggling to eat certain forms of bread, and I can only get what I need at certain shops, and this makes it more difficult.

Because of this, my wife uses the early morning slots at the supermarkets to get our food, but most supermarkets including Tesco are not sticking to the times set aside for the elderly etc, and are just letting anyone in.

She did manage to get a delivery slot from Morrison's two weeks ago, but this is not due to arrive until the 18th of May. This proves that the Government's arrangements for home deliveries are just a lot of " wind "because these supermarkets don't have the vans or staff to cope with 

 I am finding it hard to sit in our front garden, because of wood-burning stoves in our area, and people smoking weird things, all of which have an effect on my Bronchiectasis and chest, but I guess I am not alone with this, but while it's hot, I do wonder why people have the need to use wood-burning stoves on. 

I know that I am not supposed to go out, but I found that my legs were giving up, so we decided to do a short early morning walk in the hope of keeping my legs moving. I have also started to drag one leg, which makes life difficult, but I need to try to remain active for as long as possible.

With all of the conflicting information being sent out, it's becoming a nightmare, understanding what I can and cannot do, while trying to keep control over my emotions and patience.

One hospital letter said that we should,

Use a different bedroom to others, in other words I am not supposed to sleep with my wife anymore.

We should cook our meals separately from others, and take them to our own room.

Use different towels etc, to everyone else. While we use different bath towels, we tend to use the same hand towel in the kitchen, because if I am honest, I would forget which was which. 

Minimumise the time we spend with others, especially in places like the kitchen.

If I was to use the spare bedroom, as my room, I would go round the bend. 

Not only that, but if I have to eat in my own room, with my balance problems, I would end up spilling or wearing the food etc.

My wife is my safeguard when I have graphic nightmares, so how would she cope, I guess in the present situation, she would struggle even more.

I would also need to use a separate bathroom to everyone else. However as we only have one bathroom and shower, what happens next.

As you can imagine, this is all a nightmare waiting to happen.

When you are living with all of  these medical problems you need someone like a carer to keep you on track

Not only that but my wife is not just my carer and advisor,  companion, driver, and cook, "as I can no longer cook without burning things, because I simply forget that I had put something on the cooker. 

She does the washing because I don't understand the washing machine.

But without my wife ho is my carer, I would be lost and would soon get into a total mess

My memory and thoughts are up the creek too and this has a knock-on effect, on family life, etc and I know that my nerves are on edge a lot of the time.

Trying to work things out has become difficult, at times, and I no longer read books, because I am not really interested partly due to the fact that I forget the gist of the story and who the characters are.

I have taken to doing more brain games in the hope of keeping going, although I confess I am becoming more agitated than normal, which does not help anyone at all 

Struggling to cope

After struggling to cope with the lock-down, my wife suggested that I started to write my blog again, so using Speech notes, in the hope it helps me to keep going.

  

When I started to lose my memory I was told to set up a routine and try to stick to it. This was fine unless I am somewhere different or when conditions totally change.

This coronavirus has really caused problems to many people, including myself because i enjoy fresh air, and walks, yet according to the Government guidelines, I am now told i have to stay inside, or sit in the garden, something that feels very strange.

 If I sit in the garden we get fumes for nearby wood-burning stoves and this affects my throat and lungs, so I decided to go for a short walk around the nearby local park when it is quiet. I tend to keep well away from everyone else, apart from my wife, so it's fine, as long as I don't touch anything.

Now the medical profession is telling me that I should just sit in the garden, and not go to the park.

I confess that when the medical person rang up yesterday I forgot about the wood-burning stoves, so I did not mention this. Am I the only one who finds the fumes from wood-burning stoves feel as if they are burning my throat and lungs?

Between this government and the medical profession, I no longer know who to believe, or what advice to accept as they all say different things. 

I have since had another letter telling me that I should sit in a different room to my wife, "I should prepare my own meals and then take them to my own bedroom"?    In other words, I am no longer allowed to sleep in the same room, let alone the same bed as my wife. 

I have had Bronchiectasis since I was a child, and my lungs are in a mess as I also have Emphysema,  but my wife accepts this, so why change now.

I have to question all of this, because, carrying food, etc upstairs to a separate bedroom is not easy when your balance is up the creek, so I would end up either wearing my food or spilling it on the carpets. Not a well thought out idea. I guess it's fine if you live in a bungalow, but we don't. 

What happens to those who live in a one-bedroom house etc, thanks to this Government bedroom tax, which hit people with disabilities hard, as well as their carers. 

My wife was also told not to go out shopping, but to order food directly from shops as per government guidelines, which sounds good. But in reality, we cannot get into register with a store, because they don't have any delivery spots left. 

Not only that, but you are restricted as to what you can have in some stores, so as I also have a diet through my diverticulitis, it's never going to work, as much of the stuff including the bread on the list would cause problems.

Through this lockdown, my legs are getting weaker because I am not getting out for exercise and although I have an exercise bike that really is not helping.

This Government has made a total mess of all of these guidelines because they are not thought out properly at all, and as I said before, all of the letters I received are telling my different things.

I know I am on the Government list to be cautious and to stay in for safety, but in reality, they have not made life easy to understand or cope with.

I think that if I had to be confined to the house for another month or so, I would slowly go round the bend.  I am finding it all stressful enough, and my poor wife has taken the brunt of this when I lose the plot, but it's all down to losing my routine, something I cannot cope with.