dementia prayer

Lord help me with this illness

I want to be as I was, but cannot turn the clock back

To understand what is happening to me,

To a time when I was in control over what I did and said

I know I have dementia and my life has changed

I feel that I am not in control of my life anymore

Nor am I am the same person, that I was before

I cannot do the things that I did before, or they are more difficult to do,

I do not sleep as I did before and feel refreshed

My dreams are not happy but things of terror from which there is no escape

I wake and cannot work out what is real and what is part of the nightly horrors 

Each night I pray that I will wake up before the horrors start

But I know in my heart that this illness will take its course

I am not the same father or husband and that is sad

I may have done and said things which are hurtful

I get so agitated at times I simply don't understand

what is happening to me anymore

 I know that many of the bad things I do are a mistake

But it does not help when it happens

Give me the courage to fight this and not to give in

As that would be too easy, and there is too much I wish to do

Some days can be awful, and some as normal as possible

Some, times I just want to sleep, and that would be too easy

But I know that I would not sleep at night

Trying to pray is becoming harder, as I can never find the right words

Or I cannot remember the words to the Lords Prayer