Struggling to cope

After struggling to cope with the lock-down, my wife suggested that I started to write my blog again, so using Speech notes, in the hope it helps me to keep going.

  

When I started to lose my memory I was told to set up a routine and try to stick to it. This was fine unless I am somewhere different or when conditions totally change.

This coronavirus has really caused problems to many people, including myself because i enjoy fresh air, and walks, yet according to the Government guidelines, I am now told i have to stay inside, or sit in the garden, something that feels very strange.

 If I sit in the garden we get fumes for nearby wood-burning stoves and this affects my throat and lungs, so I decided to go for a short walk around the nearby local park when it is quiet. I tend to keep well away from everyone else, apart from my wife, so it's fine, as long as I don't touch anything.

Now the medical profession is telling me that I should just sit in the garden, and not go to the park.

I confess that when the medical person rang up yesterday I forgot about the wood-burning stoves, so I did not mention this. Am I the only one who finds the fumes from wood-burning stoves feel as if they are burning my throat and lungs?

Between this government and the medical profession, I no longer know who to believe, or what advice to accept as they all say different things. 

I have since had another letter telling me that I should sit in a different room to my wife, "I should prepare my own meals and then take them to my own bedroom"?    In other words, I am no longer allowed to sleep in the same room, let alone the same bed as my wife. 

I have had Bronchiectasis since I was a child, and my lungs are in a mess as I also have Emphysema,  but my wife accepts this, so why change now.

I have to question all of this, because, carrying food, etc upstairs to a separate bedroom is not easy when your balance is up the creek, so I would end up either wearing my food or spilling it on the carpets. Not a well thought out idea. I guess it's fine if you live in a bungalow, but we don't. 

What happens to those who live in a one-bedroom house etc, thanks to this Government bedroom tax, which hit people with disabilities hard, as well as their carers. 

My wife was also told not to go out shopping, but to order food directly from shops as per government guidelines, which sounds good. But in reality, we cannot get into register with a store, because they don't have any delivery spots left. 

Not only that, but you are restricted as to what you can have in some stores, so as I also have a diet through my diverticulitis, it's never going to work, as much of the stuff including the bread on the list would cause problems.

Through this lockdown, my legs are getting weaker because I am not getting out for exercise and although I have an exercise bike that really is not helping.

This Government has made a total mess of all of these guidelines because they are not thought out properly at all, and as I said before, all of the letters I received are telling my different things.

I know I am on the Government list to be cautious and to stay in for safety, but in reality, they have not made life easy to understand or cope with.

I think that if I had to be confined to the house for another month or so, I would slowly go round the bend.  I am finding it all stressful enough, and my poor wife has taken the brunt of this when I lose the plot, but it's all down to losing my routine, something I cannot cope with.