Poem

A poem published by a dear friend who has MS.

I  read it and thought it matched my thoughts about life in dementia, so nice but realistic and too the point.

My heart is in my boots,

I can see no reason for looking forward

And plenty for looking back

On how things used to be,

And I don’t even have to wear

My rose-tinted spectacles.

Time may have smoothed the edges

Of my recollection

But the past carries with it an inherent security;

It has stability and no unknowns,

And whereas looking into the future

In former times would have meant

Excitement and promise and adventure,

Now it is a journey

Fraught with uncertainty and doubt.

I am no longer myself,

Merely the product of my life’s circumstances,

I don’t belong to the present any more

Than I belong to the past.

Somewhere between the then and now

I have lost the person I really am.

The future has claimed me

And draws me relentlessly onwards

Towards the person I shall become

But I am afraid that person

Might not be me.

Anne Wilson