I guess its because I feel like a caged bird and don't know how to cope with everything that's going on around me, because its all so very different, so its not in my comfort zone.
But having said that, the government keep changing the rules every week, and no one seems to understand what they are doing.
I do think that people with dementia are being ignored and left to find their own way, which is totally different to the last session.
When we last had quarantine quide lines where everyone knew what they were allowed to do , and what not to do, it was so different, but slightly helpful.
People living with any form of dementia, have no guide book to work from, so when your brain does its own thing, and its a case of trial and error. As I have said before, I feel as if I am no longer in charge of my brain, its doing its own thing all of the time.
The thought of going back into yet another lockdown did not appeal at all, and its a bit frightening, as many people are ignoring the rules.
I am also struggling to cope with my sleeping problems at present, as my graphic dreams and nightmares are back, and its frightened my wife on a few occasions, because she has to cope with the nighly horrors, and if she tries to help, she then becomes part of the horror.
Last week I was close to tears, as I had hit my wife a few times during one nightly session, and I find this very unnerving to cope with, especially when I have no idea that I have done anything.
I know that I have anger issues these days, and this too is frightening because I have no idea what is causing it.
Whether this is all linked to the constant news about the virus or the illness, i have no real idea, but its very distressing.
I don't always listen to the national news because its all about the virus, where the local news is different on ITV.
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I always say that we may have this illness, but we are all so different.
This is my own daily problems, but I would gladly share anyone elses, if they send them in,