Wednesday 13 February 2019

Seeing the obvious and sometimes things which may not be there

November 2018

Over the years I have struggled with seeing things, some of which may or may not be real.

This can be upsetting to those people living with Lewy Body Dementia, but it can also be upsetting for those caring for these people, or anyone nearby who does not understand what is happening.

We had a change our carpets at home, because I could often see very large spiders walking across the floor, or sometimes on the wall nearby.

I was never frightened of spiders before, but these days  I really struggle, because in my mind they are real, and they scare me to death. 

I used to throw my slipper at them, but these days, my aim is so bad I am liable to hit the television or worse, my wife. 

The other day I went for a walk round our local park, and saw some boys on the skate boarding ramps, or so I thought. 

When I got round the corner they were not there. I looked all around thinking that they had run off, but there was no sign of them anywhere, and there was no where for them to hide.
There simply is no way three people can simply disappear into thin air like that, although I have had this experience before,  but never understood what was going on

I found this to be upsetting as I was on my own, and could not work out what was happening.
This also left me feeling a little frightened, so I went home again. 

This was at the time I was taking codeine for my back, and I wondered after Christmas, whether it was the codeine which caused this extra problem, because it not recommended. 

I sometimes have to stare at things long enough to work out whether they are real or not,  which is not really good, but sometimes it's my only option.

A dear friend of mine, who also had Lewy Body Dementia, used to see a large green frog, but although his wife said it was not real, he would sit and talk to it on a regular basis. He called it his pet frog. 

Trying to understand whether something is real, or whether it's my brain playing trucks on me is very difficult to cope with.
This can also cause major problems when I am crossing a road, deciding whether I am seeing a car, and if so how far away is it. 

I have been so close to getting run over by a car in the past, and it gets frightening, but I keep going in the hope that it all  changes

I guess the brain is very sensitive, but we take it for granted, until the day it stops working properly.  

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I always say that we may have this illness, but we are all so different.

This is my own daily problems, but I would gladly share anyone elses, if they send them in,

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