Trying to do the impossible

Even though I was an engineer for 28 years, and could turn my hands to doing most jobs in my early life, things are now vastly different

These days, I usually find that a job that would have taken a short while to plan and do,  can take hours or days to sort out I my brain

I know it's because my brain is failing, but it does not help

When I was at the nuerological department the last time, they said my planning skills are slower that they should be, and that's distressing after having a very active life as an engineer, and being able to sort oroblems out as I was going.

But it's to be expected,  and it explains why it takes so long to write a blog out these days. 

It does not help when I look at things at times, and don't always recognise them as I used to do.

When you look at something that would have been classed as a simple job years ago,  it's now  become a major headache and that has a knock on effect of causing extea stress.

Recently I tried to alter a cupboard, and it took nearly a week to get planned so that I could do it.
Then I realised that I was doing it all the wrong way, by then it had taken quite a while to do.

This sort of thing has an effect on everything I do these days, it's no longer a case of getting up and doing the job as it used to be.

If I cannot sort it out, we pay someone else to do the work rather than making a mess.

I never thought that I would ever get to this position, because I could take on most jobs without giving it a second thought

I guess that I am not alone with this, but it does not help.

Its not easy writing things out, and then not reallly understanding or seeing the obvious later when it matters.

It now takes days to understand and write out things, that I would have done in a few moments. Considering that I used to write reports this is now very hard to accept
But with the use of voice activated software it's made things a little easier, although I find talking to a computer to be very confusing

On social media I have repeated myself so many times that I think it's getting close to the time where I just have to give up, because I don't always see the repeats until it is too late.

That on its own is distressing

For some reason I feel as if my brain is totally doing its own thing at times.

I know that there are people in a worse position than I am so I have to be grateful


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