Don't talk to them, "Talk to me"

Just how many times have we heard a discussion about someone with an illness like dementia, and it seems that everyone is discussing the person, but not including them.

 I have been out with my wife at times, when someone has stopped to talk to hear, then you sometimes,  hear that upsetting sentence," How is Ken".

My wife sometimes gets very annoyed when this happens, and usually comes out with the same answer, he is right in front of you, why not ask him yourself, "he can talk for himself"
He is not a ghost, and what is more he has a tongue. 

I confess that when this happens, I usually turn and walk away, because I find comments like this to be offensive,  and the last thing I want to do is cause a war of words.

I know that other people have had the same problems, but it's quite upsetting, when people are so insensitive

However I do believe that it's because they simply do not know how to speak to us. 

We have this problem with one person who lives fairly close to us, and we have both got to the stage over the last few years, that we try to ignore him altogether.

It's not just the dementia side of things when this happens. 

I have been using a walking stick recently due to my balance and hip problems. 

The other day, my wife was shopping, and for some reason, I went into a different shop to do something else.

My wife came out steaming, because this person was there and asked, why I was using a walking stick?

I had passed and spoken to him over the last few months, and he never uttered a word about the stick.

This person used to have a wife, who had dementia, and I do wonder how he coped, or did he simply ask their carer the questions?

It's time to realise that we may have a brain illness, and may have bad days, but we do have feelings and can understand what us happening, so please talk to us, do not ignore us.


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