Helping people to retain their beliefs

These days it is not so easy for people with dementia or memory problems to retain the spiritual beliefs, as many church leaders are simply not interested

I always remember a curate at church  telling me,  that it was a waste of his time going into care homes,  because those living there were not interested and just went to sleep while he was there

What he meant was, they were  not interested in his modern forms of service, because they were brought up with the old forms of service, using old well known hymns and prayers.

I think with his sermons, many people would have lost the will to stay awake as they were long winded and boring

I personally found this comment  to be a total insult,  because he simply had not got a clue as to how he could react with these people,  but apparently, this is the modern church..

Church leaders these days  consider the word spirituality to mean 100% religious beliefs and nothing else.

But in reality a person's spirituality these days, is about who the person is,  and how they want to be treated, along with what they enjoy so much in life

This is something I spoke about a couple of years ago at a conference, and it was well received, although it took me nearly a month to get it clear in my head before the event, because spirituality means so many things,  to different people  these days

If I can find it,  I will repost it later.

Yes they may be very religious, with one form  of religion or belief, but like many people I was brought up with the older forms of service and enjoyed this way of life .

These days there are many groups being set up by and for people with memory and neurological illnesses, who are interested in retaining their religious beliefs, and are supported by clergy from one domination or another, or can be done in short by reading from a book

One such book is one that I have at home and is called

Worshipping with Dementia

A book that I mentioned to the curate that I wrote about before.

This book contains

Meditations, Scriptures, and Prayers for people with dementia and their carers

The book was Edited by Louise Morsels.

This covers scriptures and short sermons, and not long winded ones as we hear in churches these days.

It should get remembered that many of us do not have the attention span we used to have, and many of us simply switch off after a while

What is more, I know that like many others, my memory is total rubbish these days, and if I don't write something down fast,  it's gone for hours or sometimes days, before I remember it again

I always remember the Canon at our church, when I was in the choir as a boy, telling the congregation, that if a priest could not say what he wanted with 10 mins, he simply could not do a sermon and was in the wrong Job?

His idea was that a sermon should be short and you the point, otherwise people would drift off to sleep with boredom.

This is  one thing that many clergy simply forget when doing services in care homes etc, because they are not trained to cope with the elderly, or those with neurological illnesses any more.

I hope that one day churches will realise that the elderly are in many cases more important  than the younger people, because they have more complex needs

Has the church of England lost the plot

Recently I wrote about the Church of England, not thinking of those who had memory problems and dementia etc, and how a Bishop had totally ignored my letter about my nightly nightmares and horrendous dreams etc, but said that I should do more and attend the 8am service

I had  mentioned that I don't really sleep deeply until around 4-5am in the morning, so  I am not with it, hen it comes to going to the  8am service.

In all honesty I am no longer a morning person, as it takes me a while to get my brain into gear.

This comes after years of being on call for breakdowns, 24  hours a day

This 8am service is the old prayer book style, and is much  easier to follow as it's been unchanged for hundreds of years

However I have noticed that we have a priest in charge, who does not accept any critisim what so ever, even if it constructive

He also goes out of his way to find out who is criticising the church, and then confronts them,  usually well away from others

This is not that he wants to discuss it quietly, and see what the comments are, but to force his way on othersThis man is not what I would call a true priest, in fact he is more like a throw back from the middle ages, when priests had the power to have you put to death for standing up to them

So to me this sends out the wrong message and is also intimidating.

He also dislikes the old hymns etc, and prefers the modern hymns, where you sing the same verse over and over again from a screen

Many elderly people along with those with memory problems, love the old hymns etc, as it's part of the or life and history

My wife tried to speak up once about this subject,   and was left by others to pick up the pieces, even though others had supported her prior to this

This also proved that some who attend church can be arrogant and two faced.

Not all are like this, as I am well aware, but there are many who are.

These people had agreed with my wife, and then told her that they would deny anything she said, if it got back to the clergy

To me, this clergyman was rude and arrogant when he came to our home to confront my wife, so much so that I walked out rather than get upset at what was happening

If this is the way clergy treat people, os it any wonder that churches are left empty these days

I for one used to love the Church of England and going to church, but now I will not go near to it at all.

Perhaps it's time that the Bishops took more notice of these things, and sorted themselves out

We are at the end if the day in the 21st century not the 7th

However not all is lost, because I have a book of forms is service for people like us, and I follow it as and when I can. 

This was written solely for people with dementia and memory problems, and it's all that I now need.

But perhaps this us too basic for modern day clergymen