mixed messages during lockdown

After a long absence, my wife suggested I tried to write my blog again, in the hope of getting me going again during this lock down.

I am using speech notes again to get going again. 

I confess that  I am struggling more and more, to cope with this lockdown these days and a lot of this is all down the mixed messages from the hospitals etc, all of which tell me to do different things, and this can be difficult to take on board at times. 

That's without the Governments mixed messages, some of which make no sense at all these days.

We tried to get a delivery from supermarkets, but we had problems because some will only deliver what they want, rather than what is needed. 

Due to diverticulitis,   I am struggling to eat certain forms of bread, and I can only get what I need at certain shops, and this makes it more difficult.

Because of this, my wife uses the early morning slots at the supermarkets to get our food, but most supermarkets including Tesco are not sticking to the times set aside for the elderly etc, and are just letting anyone in.

She did manage to get a delivery slot from Morrison's two weeks ago, but this is not due to arrive until the 18th of May. This proves that the Government's arrangements for home deliveries are just a lot of " wind "because these supermarkets don't have the vans or staff to cope with 

 I am finding it hard to sit in our front garden, because of wood-burning stoves in our area, and people smoking weird things, all of which have an effect on my Bronchiectasis and chest, but I guess I am not alone with this, but while it's hot, I do wonder why people have the need to use wood-burning stoves on. 

I know that I am not supposed to go out, but I found that my legs were giving up, so we decided to do a short early morning walk in the hope of keeping my legs moving. I have also started to drag one leg, which makes life difficult, but I need to try to remain active for as long as possible.

With all of the conflicting information being sent out, it's becoming a nightmare, understanding what I can and cannot do, while trying to keep control over my emotions and patience.

One hospital letter said that we should,

Use a different bedroom to others, in other words I am not supposed to sleep with my wife anymore.

We should cook our meals separately from others, and take them to our own room.

Use different towels etc, to everyone else. While we use different bath towels, we tend to use the same hand towel in the kitchen, because if I am honest, I would forget which was which. 

Minimumise the time we spend with others, especially in places like the kitchen.

If I was to use the spare bedroom, as my room, I would go round the bend. 

Not only that, but if I have to eat in my own room, with my balance problems, I would end up spilling or wearing the food etc.

My wife is my safeguard when I have graphic nightmares, so how would she cope, I guess in the present situation, she would struggle even more.

I would also need to use a separate bathroom to everyone else. However as we only have one bathroom and shower, what happens next.

As you can imagine, this is all a nightmare waiting to happen.

When you are living with all of  these medical problems you need someone like a carer to keep you on track

Not only that but my wife is not just my carer and advisor,  companion, driver, and cook, "as I can no longer cook without burning things, because I simply forget that I had put something on the cooker. 

She does the washing because I don't understand the washing machine.

But without my wife ho is my carer, I would be lost and would soon get into a total mess

My memory and thoughts are up the creek too and this has a knock-on effect, on family life, etc and I know that my nerves are on edge a lot of the time.

Trying to work things out has become difficult, at times, and I no longer read books, because I am not really interested partly due to the fact that I forget the gist of the story and who the characters are.

I have taken to doing more brain games in the hope of keeping going, although I confess I am becoming more agitated than normal, which does not help anyone at all