Wednesday, 11 July 2018

Horrors of the night return again

I thought I was beyond the horrors of the night, but they have returned all over again, as I explained in a previous post
These graphic dreams and nightmares, which bare no resemblance to reality, can be very upsetting and distressing, not just to the person going through this, but also anyone near by.
It can also be dangerous to attempt to bring someone out of one, because you can become part of the nightmare, and then suffer damage yourself as my wife once found.
They are also frightening, because it's like a boxing match in your sleep, only you don't understand that it's happening, because your arms and legs may be lashing out in all directions.
These things can also be very destructive, as I have demolished many items on my bedside cabinet, including two bedside lamps when were found in pieces the next morning.
It's distressing when this happens, because it proves the power used to lash out when we are going through one of these night mares.
I confess that I am terrified of being sent into hospital, because of the damage I could cause, not just to the property, but also to staff.
I guess anyone going through one of these in hospital, could be accused of abuse towards one of the staff, without ever knowing what was happening unless you woke up.
However it's not always easy to wake up from them, and sometimes when you do wake up, you are not sure where you are, as I found to my horror on quite a few occasions.
To me, I was in a different room and one which I did not recognise, and did not always understand who was talking to me, even though it was my beloved wife.
After this I feel totally drained the following day, and usually sleep for upwards of a hour after lunch, during which time I am dead to the world and nothing can wake me up.
However even if I can wake up from them, and go downstairs for a while, they can start all over again when I go back to bed.
A friend of mine called Barry, who lived in the Philippines, said he had many of these horrors and like me could not understand why he had them.
The brain is a wonderful thing when it's working properly, but it's not so good when it's causing things to happen like this.
However these days I try soothing music to drift off too, and make sure that I am not facing my wife, so she never gets in the way if I lash out, although this is no guarantee of her being hit.

Graphic Nightmares in Lewy Body Deementia

Because I struggle with very graphic nightmares and dreams at night, I have struggled to find ways of coping.
This I gather is called R.E.M, and is part of my illness
This usually starts within three hours of going to sleep, although there times when it's started much later if I have been up during the night, to go to the toilet etc.
Sometimes when I wake up, it's very difficult to work out what is part of this horror, and what is reality. Even if I get the chance to wake up from these and get out of bed, it's a struggle to work out whether I am free or not. Sometimes I sit in the bathroom and then try to work out whether I am actually in the bathroom or still dreaming.
I have at times hurt myself by thumping on the wall in desperation to work out where I am.
This is all because it's difficult to work out the truth.
What is reality and when is it still part of the nightly horror.
A few years ago we were flooded at home, so we were living in a small flat.
One night I had a horrible night, but remembered getting out of bed in three occasions, and then went into our lounge to recover, and while I was up I went to the toilet, or so I thought
Eventually I woke up and realised that it was all part of the nightly horror, and I had in fact never left the bed during the night. My wife remembers me jumping out of the bed in desperation the next morning, because I had remembered "going to the toilet" on three occasions, and thought I must have relieved myself in bed during the horror.
Thankfully I had not done anything, but this shook me rigid, because it was all so graphic, and the fact that I can describe these horrors in full during the next day is quite frightening.
But the fact that your brain tricks you into thinking you have got up, is not a nice thing to understand.
My wife actually tried to wake me up one night, and then she became part of this horror. The next morning we were both shocked because she had an enormous black eye, and this left me feeling terribly upset.
So this proves our carers, have to be extremely careful when trying to wake someone from a graphic nightmare, because they themselves can become part of the horror
On one occasion I had been given medication, in the hope it would help and stop these horrors, but it actually made matters much worse.
A few days after being given this medication, we had gone on holiday, and I guess I was lucky to get back home again, because I tried to climb out of the hotel bedroom window, to get away from the nightly horror. I was saved by my wife who woke up just in time, and the fact that the window was locked so would not open fully. The fact that this was a third floor bedroom was frightening.
The next morning the medication was reduced, after my wife contacted the consultant.
I have no real idea what causes these nights, because I try to relax before I go to bed. Yes there are nights when I dread closing my eyes, because of the fear of what may happen once I drift off, but usually these things bear no resemblance to reality what so ever.
Through this I have taken to using my iPod touch to play relaxing music, but sometimes, this can have the wrong effect if it has the wrong rhythm
However this can have the wrong effect at times.
Sometimes the wrong type of music can trigger these horrors to start again,
On other times I have been woken up by my wife, who in turn had been woken up by me singing to the songs on my I Pod, while being deep asleep.
One night I had been listening to Glen Campbell singing one of his CDs, and my wife was woken up by me singing "Rhinestone Cowboy".
On another occasion I woke my wife up while singing songs from "Queen"
I gather she was not amused by this, and threatened to stop me using the I Pod.
On another occasion I had rolled over and had caught the earphone cable up on something, this meant it came away from my iPod, and the music was playing loud a clear around the bedroom, so I was in trouble yet again.
So I had to resort to classical music, and not songs.
However anything which helps me through the night is well worth trying

Horrors of the night return again

I thought I was beyond the horrors of the night, but they have returned all over again, as I explained in a previous post These graphic ...