A lot has been written over the last few months about depression, yet it seems to appear in many illnesses like Parkinson and Dementia, to name only two.
Many doctors don't look at the cause of the depression, and simply want to issue sedatives etc, "but is this the real answer.".
Surely they should be looking for the true cause, rather than using drugs,
I know that there are times now when my brain goes, and I am no longer able to think or plan things as I was used to, and this is upsetting, because it's very hard to accept or understand.
I have often been accused of frowning these days, yet there are times when I have no real idea when I am smiling, unless I can look into a mirror.
Facial expressions don't mean a lot to me anymore.
It's not easy when you are not I control of these things, and sometimes it's embarrassing.
Things like reading and understanding letters and documents can be an experience, because I don't always understand what I am reading or seeing.
I often misunderstand what people are saying these days, and this in turn causes upset, until it's all explained properly. But I think this is my brain working things out wrongly
This causes mistrust between people, but unless you to have been there you would never understand it.
These days it takes me longer to work to things out, or try to carry on doing normal things, and have to resort to items such as voice activated software on my computer, so that I can write my blogs etc.
But I guess over the years we have all said, that we feel totally depressed, but it's only when things go wrong and you cannot workout how to correct them.
It's a phrase which can cause a lot of trouble these days, especially if you say it to the wrong person, like an uncaring doctor
When I was first aware that things were going wrong, and had not been diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia, all I got from the family doctors was that it was depression
Yet the job I was in, there was not enough time to get depressed, as I worked 24 hours a day doing breakdowns.
Yes it was hectic from what I can remember, but it was a job I loved.
I did not always get a full nights sleep, but my employers always said, that when the chips were down, I stepped up a gear to get the breakdowns or power failures sorted out.
Perhaps other people would have simply become stressed or depressed, but I enjoyed my life, until I could not do my Job anymore.
I guess that because I could not remember how to do estimates and electrical work anymore, and ended up counting on my fingers, which was distressing
But in this case who wouldn't be depressed, it was because I was losing control over my brain and thought that I was going mad.
I do feel that life has been turned on it's head, in more ways than one, and things are no longer what they seem, and this causes me at times to feel depressed, but as with memory problems etc, I have to fight it for my families sake.
But I do feel that we need more support for depression or the symptoms of this illness to stop it getting any worse
I don't remember in all honesty hearing about so many suicides as we have these days, but if we are honest there is not the support out there, that we should have.
We also have Government who don't care about anyone but themselves and that does not help.
Let us hope that in the future we get more support for those in need, before it's too late.
While I openly admit to getting depressed at times, I do have ways of trying to deal with it, and turn things around.
Yes it's to do with losing control over my brain, but that's life and I have to hang on to that and help others wherever I can.
I realise that I am starting to lose control of my photography quite a lot these days, but I will just have to find something else to do and be positive
I have my family and grandchildren and they are more important to me.