Monday, 16 June 2014

How feelings change in dementia

When a person gets a diagnosis of dementia their whole world is thrown into chaos, as something's are lost for good, and things like tastes totally change.



We are all brought up with beliefs and guidelines, but in many cases these also disappear as I have found over the last three years.


In life we grow up with many ideas and in some cases strong beliefs, whether religious or not.
I always had a strong belief in my religion until this illness started, then the wheels started to come off.


I think its the way my brain has gone, but that is out of my control, on most days, as things change so much, and that is something that is distressing, whichever way it goes.



However over the years my views on certain subjects have change quite a lot, and my tastes in foods have changed so much

that its hard to accept that its the same person that I was 10 years ago.



But my religion like many things have been pushed to the limit, and I am in the position now where I am not sure what I believe anymore. But I guess like my father its partly because of the way the religious authorities have changed things to suite themselves, the youngsters and have left the elderly and those with neurological illness etc out in the cold.



I used to belong to a very old and large church which dated back to the year 880, and over the years was capable of holding up to 400-500 people, now its lucky if it gets anywhere near to half of that, simply because the clergy have lost touch, with reality and only seem to speak to their favourites.



A few people have said recently that they feel as if they are going the same way because they cannot cope with being treated like idiots. I do think that the Church of England has lost the plot over the last few years, because its now run by academic Bishops, rather than Bishops who came up through the ranks and actually worked in industry earlier, people who knew the real meaning of life with its struggles and hardship, rather than going straight in from University.


When I was younger Bishops were admired, they were tied to any political party and they stood up for the poor and the sick.



Now that has all changed and they all seem to be tied to the Labour party and the sick and poor no longer get thought about. The Odd thing is that originally the Labour Party was set up for the workers on the mines and cotton mills, and the clergy were not invited to join.



We now have a new Arch Bishop of Canterbury who has worked in industry, and he is trying to change things but like many other people I think he is fighting a losing battle, as the Church of England is now classed as a Middle to High Class religion, so no one else seems to matter any more. I guess that's because  a lot of the old industries have gone from this country. No more coal fields, iron works, or cotton mills.



But When I look back my father had the same problems, which at the time I did not understand, when we talked about it, but its becoming clear now, and I am starting to agree with him even though he is no longer with us


 Father had been a very religious man and went to church at least two or three time s every Sunday, and then he had a series of strokes, meaning that he could not attend church. He remembered the days when the clergy would visit the sick at home, but in his case they did not want to know, and classed outside visits as unnecessary, something which made him very upset, and in the end said his religion had gone.



It was hard to listen to father when he talked about his religion and his wishes, at the end, but when I look at it I have gone exactly the same way. What is more I fully understood what he was getting at and I totally agree with him.



I am now sadly getting to the same position, which is sad, but unavoidable. I struggle at church anyway these days as everyone is standing waving their arms around or swaying from side to side, something which makes me feel unstable, so I stopped going to certain services, but now each form of service changes every week, and that's no good when have memory problems and are trying to follow services    



It feels like another chapter of the book is closing through this illness, but I guess that's life.

My faith had kept me going up till now, but as one old Cannon once said you don't need to attend church to be religious, just keep your faith.



I know that many other people with dementia have experienced the same problems in life, so I am not alone with this.


One person actually lost a lot of friends for saying things like this, which to me is very sad because it proves that those who left this person knew nothing at all about this illness.



When I look back over the years, so much has changed, my tastes in food, music, and even politics, so I wonder what is going to be next



Elderly and driving

After the news in the media during the last few days, I think it's time that elderly people had their eyes etc tested on a regular basis...