A poem published by a dear friend who has MS.
I read it and thought it matched my thoughts about life in dementia, so nice but realistic and too the point.
My heart is in my boots,
I can see no reason for looking forward
And plenty for looking back
On how things used to be,
And I don’t even have to wear
My rose-tinted spectacles.
Time may have smoothed the edges
Of my recollection
But the past carries with it an inherent security;
It has stability and no unknowns,
And whereas looking into the future
In former times would have meant
Excitement and promise and adventure,
Now it is a journey
Fraught with uncertainty and doubt.
I am no longer myself,
Merely the product of my life’s circumstances,
I don’t belong to the present any more
Than I belong to the past.
Somewhere between the then and now
I have lost the person I really am.
The future has claimed me
And draws me relentlessly onwards
Towards the person I shall become
But I am afraid that person
Might not be me.