I had a good nights sleep last night after a brute of a night the night before when I had three bad nightmares one after the other, and felt totally drained all day.
I have not had a night like this for some time, although I have had the occasional bad night, but nothing compared to Friday night when I just wanted it all to end once and for all.
It is hard to explain these nights and I often wonder how Trainee Nurses are able to take on board what its like to live like this let alone qualified staff.
Sadly on Friday my wife was sleeping like a log and did not hear me when I needed help as she was so tired, but she was desperately sorry the next morning, when I told her all about it.
I try to get away from bed when I wake up from these as, I don't want it to start all over again as it does some times, and I don't want to upset me wife as she finds it very hard to understand whet is going on, especially when they get violent.
There must be some reason for these things to happen, but when they have no bearing on life or at least real life, I just can not take it on board.
I finally went to sleep around 5am and was up at about 7-15 am, but I suppose I was pleased to be up and away from bed by then.
Last night I did not really want to go to bed let alone sleep, but I did and it was fine.
How I never end up with something like a heart attach during these I will never understand.