Thursday, 15 November 2012

Very Vivid dreams and nightmares


Many of us struggle with sleepless nights or nightmares, and today I was sent a link to this webpage by a member of the Royal College of Nurses. I confess that I have not managed to read it all, but what I did read was very interesting.

 I have often had horrendous nightmares which are very vivid many of which can be described in great detail long after waking up. I have also wanted to get out of bed during the night to visit the bathroom, and have never been very sure that I actually got out of bed, until I hit the wall in the bathroom to make sure I am there.

Sometimes if I wake from the vivid nightmares, I get out of bed and sit in a chair, but these sometimes start all over again when I go back to bed.

One night it all came to a head when I tried to escape from the nightmare by climbing out of the bedroom window, but my wife woke up just in time, as we were in a hotel and on the third floor. I suppose the lucky part of that night was the fact that the window would only open about 3 inches, and it’s was the sound of me trying to force it that woke my wife up.

On another night I was standing in the corner trying to get away from the horror, and as explained before I could describe it all to my wife when I settled down later in the day. 

This is all very distressing when it happens and there are times when I really don’t want to either go to bed or go to sleep, because it sometimes terrifies me of what may be coming.

I know that it’s all part of my illness, but to be honest it still does not help.  There is medication which helps but mine was reduced as I just could not wake up at all and that was disastrous for me.
On one such event I remember thinking that I had got out of bed on three occasions, and each time I went back to sleep the same nightmare started again. It was only when I finally woke up that I realised, that this was the first time I had woken up, and the rest of the time I only dreamt, that I had woken up and got out of bed? But this was so graphic that it was difficult to understand just what happened.
This worries me as I wonder how many people have heart attacks during these dreams which are so nasty you simply can not break free of them.
I have also found it very hard at times, to work out just what is reality and what is just imagination.
I often find myself in a toilet during the day or night and end up hitting the wall, to make sure I am where my brain tells me I am. This often ends up with me having a very sore hand the next day.
This must be one of the most distressing illness there is, as its difficult to make a clear cut between reality and fiction. 
Many people have said on occasions, that when someone is having a very bad night, the carer should sit close ans speak to the person. This is something both my wife and I will tell you is not a good idea, as you then become part of that bad dream and can end up being hurt. 

In this case my wife ended up with a black eye, which was very sad and distressing for me.

This comes back to the point where at nights it is very difficult to separate the horrible dreams from reality, We all dream at night, but in the morning the detail can be very sketchy, but since my diagnosis, or just before it started I have been able to remember the worst nightmares in great detail, and occasionally write them down in the hope that they have some bearing on life, but in reality there is nothing at all, as these things have no bearing at all on my life or family they are totally weird




  


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