Alzheimer's: Helping children understand the
disease
Alzheimer's affects everyone in the family — including the kids.
Reassure your child with simple, honest explanations of the disease.
Watching a loved one progress through the stages of Alzheimer's disease
can be frightening, even for adults. Imagine being a child struggling to
understand why grandma is acting so strangely or can't remember who you are.
You can help by offering comfort and support when needed.
When your child asks questions, respond with simple, honest answers. For
example:
·
What's wrong with grandma? Explain that
Alzheimer's is a disease. Just as children get colds and tummy aches, older
adults sometimes get an illness that causes them to act differently and to
forget things. They might look the same on the outside, but their brains are
changing on the inside.
·
Doesn't grandpa love me anymore? If the person who
has Alzheimer's disease no longer recognizes your child, he or she might feel
rejected. Remind your child that the disease makes it hard for your loved one
to remember things — but your child is still an important part of the person's
life.
·
Is it my fault? If the person who has Alzheimer's
accuses your child of some wrongdoing — such as misplacing a purse or keys —
your child might feel responsible. Explain to your child that he or she isn't
to blame.
·
Will you get Alzheimer's? Reassure your child
that Alzheimer's disease isn't contagious. Most people don't get Alzheimer's.
·
What will happen next? If you'll be
caring for the person who has Alzheimer's in your home, prepare your child for
the changes in routine. Explain to your child that your loved one will have
good days and bad days. Reassure your child that he or she is loved — no matter
what the future holds.
If your child has trouble talking about the situation or withdraws from
your loved one, open the conversation. Ask what changes your child has noticed
in the loved one who has Alzheimer's disease. Your child's observations might
lead naturally to an exploration of his or her own feelings and worries. Tell
your child it's OK to feel nervous, sad or angry. You feel that way sometimes,
too.
To boost your child's understanding of Alzheimer's, read age-appropriate
books on the disease or take advantage of other educational resources.
Be prepared for emotional expression
Your child might express his or her emotions in seemingly indirect ways.
For example, he or she might complain of headaches or other physical issues.
Your child's attention to schoolwork might begin to slide. If you're caring for
your loved one in your home, your child might be reluctant to invite friends to
the house — or he or she might look for ways to spend time away from home.
If you notice these types of behaviour’s, gently point out what you've
observed — and offer your child comfort and support. Listen to your child's
concerns, and help your child feel safe in sharing his or her feelings.
Stay involved
To help your child stay connected to the person who has Alzheimer's,
involve both of them in familiar activities — such as setting the table
together. Shared leisure time is important, too. Even young children can stay
connected with a loved one who has Alzheimer's by paging through photo albums,
listening to music or doing other simple activities together.
If your child becomes impatient with your loved one, remind your child
that the behaviour isn't intentional — it's a result of the disease. Together,
focus on finding ways to show your loved one how much you love him or her. Even
if your loved one forgets your child's name, he or she can still feel love and
kindness.
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